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This is far too much for me. The constant feeling of hoping that the gradual fading of everything will somehow repeat itself to me and I can’t let myself be found until I get to hear that sound, that harmonic resonance that reminds me of your presence. I can’t help but get lost in the darkness of my own thoughts cause it’s these voices that I can hear that leave a ringing in my ears. I don’t know why I find it so much harder to breathe with you counting on me, but I want to know why it’s echoed my mind, why it resonates so harmonically, why I can’t help but get lost in the darkness of my own thoughts. I just hope that it repeats itself, that gradual fading of every thing, that constant feeling of knowing that this is far too much for me.
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Morriña
06:54
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Is there a feeling that is stranger than this echo of silence that’s been ringing my ears for years? Because it’s a sound that I can’t forget. I’ve been thinking about this repetition - how it lingers in my head. I feel like it has been the catalyst. Like a poison you adsorbed to it, you found the process that eliminates the need for everything to be complete and I have this feeling that there’s no reason for the things that I’ve said, there’s no reason why it’s burning holes in my head. I’ve been thinking about this separation and how I can’t distil the abstract concept of this. So take apart this brittle feeling, let it take over the weakest part of me, cause I can hear. I can hear it echo this feeling every time I close my eyes and think of the way it rang and filled my ears. When it fills my ears I have this feeling that I just don’t belong. It’s something that’s haunted me and I can’t escape it. I’ve been thinking about this, but I won’t ever understand why this silence in my ears is something that I have feared, but this is a void that is filled with white noise.
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Haze Wolverhampton, UK
a few friends from the midlands
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